The Devil Wears Costumes

Costume Shop, Holidays, Jerk, USA, West Virginia | Right | October 31, 2016

(My best friend works in a seasonal Halloween store in our town. Since it’s only open for a little over a month each year, and the sister store is a 45-minute drive away, they can get a lot of business on most days. A mutual friend and I go to her work to hang out and look around while we wait for her to get off. The staff is small, but we’re all very close. One of her coworkers has just gotten off the phone and huffs, noticeably irritated.)

Mutual Friend: “Angry customer?”

Worker: “It’s this woman I’ve been trying to contact about a costume. She needed a size for it we didn’t have, so we had to get it from our store in [Town 45 minutes away] and she didn’t answer our call yesterday so I left a message, except she never called back. So I called her again when we opened this morning and she’s just now getting to me demanding why I’m bothering her. I say, if you want the costume, you need to get it today or I have to put it on the shelves for others to look at. It’s a very popular costume this year, and she says she’ll stop by when she’s ready.”

Owner: “You can’t please everyone. We have policies like this for a reason. I can’t tell you how many people want us to hold items but never get them.”

(Fast forward about an hour. The store closes in twenty minutes at nine pm. A pair of young women walk in and head straight for the service counter. It’s obvious this is the woman from the phone calls. We watch her snatch the costume bag from the coworker’s hands. Our friend is manning the changing rooms and walks over.)

Friend Working: “Ma’am? Can I suggest you try the costume real quick before checking out? Just to make sure everything fits comfortably?”

Woman: *snottily* “Well, why? Like, I already know it fits me.”

Coworker: “It’s just that our policy states all sales are final. We don’t do any returns or exchanges, so if something is wrong or missing from the outfit, we need to know now so you’re getting everything you wanted.”

Woman: “Ugh, FINE!” *stomps over to the fitting rooms*

(I’m sitting on the floor with our mutual friend watching the exchange. We’ve made our purchases, most of the lights in the store are off, and other workers are sweeping or unplugging their props for the night. The woman and her friend then spend the remaining time in the front mirror outside the changing rooms loudly gossiping and complaining.)

Woman: “I don’t see why I have to do this. If I don’t like it, I’ll get my money back. It’s just a cheap costume anyway.”

Woman’s Friend: “Like, yeah! As if we weren’t already busy. Whatever.”

(Almost fifteen minutes after the store should have closed for the night, the woman finally gets dressed, buys the outfit, and leaves in a huff. My friend grabs her jacket, clocks out, and practically RUNS to our car.)

Me: “Wow, [Friend], I thought I got all the horrible people at my job!”

Friend Working: “That’s not even the half of it. We get people like that ALL the time. Even people who try to come in December and call [Owner] as if he should even be open then to sell Halloween stuff!”

Mutual Friend: “They were some straight-up b****es.”

Friend Working: “I would have said something if they weren’t going to buy it, but whatever. That’s not even the worst part. When she went to the counter to pay, she demanded a discount for the trouble we caused HER. She said we owed her for ruining her day off by making her come in and pick up her order.”

This story is part of our Halloween roundup!