The Devil May Cry, But These Kids Definitely Will

It’s the early 2000s in the video game store where I work. My manager is at the counter when the customer line rings. He picks up.

Manager: “Thank you for calling [Video Game Store], this is [Manager’s Name]… Uh-huh… Yes… Uh-huh… I think I understand.”

He hangs up and looks at me.

Manager: “A mom just called. Her son has some friends over. She overheard them planning to prank-call the store, so she gave me a heads-up and instructions.”

I grin. He grins. We wait. Two minutes later, the phone rings.

Manager: “Thank you for calling [Video Game Store], this is [Manager’s Name].”

There’s whispering on the other end, then a boy tries to deepen his voice.

Kid: “Uh, yeah, do you guys have… um… Grand Theft Auto: Donkey Edition in stock?”

Manager: “We sure do.”

More whispering. They weren’t expecting that.

Kid: “Uh—okay, cool. Do you know wh—”

Manager: “—no, we don’t have the exploding controller accessory in stock today. It’ll be in Wednesday.”

There’s a long silence.

Kid: “Whoa. Are you psychic or something?”

Manager: “No, but your mom is. And we’re all very scared of her. Also, she told me to tell you your PlayStation privileges are revoked for the whole weekend… and your new copy of Devil May Cry has already disappeared from your gaming collection.”

There’s a gasp on the line.

Kid: “No. She couldn’t have—SHE DID! NOOOOOOO—”

He hangs up so fast the click echoes.