The Devil (And Your Daughter) Is In The Details

My mum, while not being completely tech-illiterate like some people of her age, still needs a lot of troubleshooting help from me and my brother — setting up accounts, working out error messages or emails, and that kind of thing.

She wants to set up an online banking account and calls me to guide her through it via phone. After a bit of chaos, we decide it’s easier if I set it up on my computer while explaining it to her on the phone.

Me: “All right, it’s asking for a login password. I’m going to use [password variant she uses everywhere, slightly changed up to make it safer].”

Mum: “Oh, yes, I’ll be able to remember that!”

Me: “Yeah. Okay, the security questions are the usual. I’ll put in your first pet and where you met Dad.”

Mum: “Okay.”

Me: “You’ll also need a sort of PIN number. I’ll just use [number combination she also uses everywhere that is, at least, not a birthday or other easy number to figure out].”

Mum: *Long pause* “Sure.”

Me: “Okay, now I’m going to enter your credit card details from that bank so it’ll be connected—”

Mum: “Wait a minute!”

Me: “Sorry?”

Mum: “How do you know my credit card details?! And remember all these other things so well?”

Me: “Mum. I’ve been setting up accounts and changing passwords and ordering or booking stuff online for you for years.”

Mum: “Oh, right.”

Me: “I know your online identity better than you, to be honest.” *Laughing* “I could probably hack every account of yours without you even noticing. Aren’t you glad I’m a good daughter instead and help you?”

Mum: *Also laughing* “You are a good girl for tolerating your silly old mum’s problems.”

She’s not had any troubles with online banking yet, but she still keeps joking about how I’m someday going to drain her account and run away with all her data and passwords.