The Definition Of Cold Is Too Hot To Handle

(It’s about 15 minutes before closing time, and so we have very little hot food left. We do however, continue to sell cold items for customers to take home and cook for themselves.)

Customer: “Do you have any chicken pies still hot?”

Me: “Sorry, mate. We’ve sold out of the chicken pies. I’ve still got some cold ones in the fridge though.”

Customer: “Cold? Like, how cold?”

Me: “As in refrigerated. They’re not frozen, just cold. Uncooked.”

Customer: “Ah, okay. I’ll grab one of those thanks.”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be [price].” *I get the customer his pie*

Customer: “Ugh! So this is really cold! Can you heat this up for me?”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t.”

Customer: “Just real quick, in the microwave?”

Me: “Sorry. Like I said, the cold pies are uncooked. It needs to be cooked in an oven.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t want this one, then. When you said ‘cold’ I thought you meant, like, ‘sort of warm.'”