The Definition Is Fluid

, , , , , , , | Romantic | September 10, 2017

(I have made some new friends, and I am discussing them with my boyfriend.)

Me: “…and then there’s [Friend’s Name], but they usually go by [Gender-Neutral Name].”

Boyfriend: “Because she’s a tomboy?”

Me: “Not really. They described themselves as gender-fluid.”

Boyfriend: “…”

Me: “You know? Someone who identifies as being either gender?”

Boyfriend: *look of realisation” “Oh! That’s what that means!”

Me: “What did you think it meant?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t want to say.”

Me: “You thought it was an actual fluid didn’t you?”

Boyfriend: “…maybe.”

Me: *jokingly* “And what did this magical fluid do? Make you change genders?”

Boyfriend: “…”

Me: “Seriously!?”

Boyfriend: “There’s medical breakthroughs every day!”

Me: “I’m pretty sure they’re focusing more on curing cancer than making you a drink to give you a vagina!”

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VOTES
  • Souless night

    Idk that’d be a cool invention…

    • Scott Rivers

      Sounds like Polyjuice Potion; probably would be just as pleasant to ingest…

      • Phil Adler

        the end result though…

    • Siirenias

      Reminds me that I should watch Ranma 1/2.

      • Aaron

        Just stay out of the Spring of Drowned Yeti Riding a Bull carrying a Snake and Crane

        • Vulpis

          And if you don’t…stay away from the pervert sensei, and definitely don’t let them rename you.

          • Aaron

            And failing that, PLEASE don’t fall into the Spring of Drowned Octopus!

          • Vulpis

            …That sounds like the springboard to a lucrative career in certain segments of the film industry, actually. 😉
            …Though this brings to mind wondering how in the frell can you drown an *octopus*??

          • Aaron

            I’ve always believed Jusenkyo is partly alive, so it kills the first thing to fall in each pool… or tries to, at least

          • beacon80

            Well, octopi are salt-water creatures, and the springs are presumably fresh-water. It might not be literally drowning, but the tour guide’s ancestor probably figured “Meh, close enough.”

          • Vulpis

            Makes sense. I didn’t think about the salt vs. fresh thing when I typed that.

          • Lauren

            It’s actually really interesting the treatment you need for a basic fish tank. It really makes you appreciate aquariums and marine biologists a lot more.

          • Lauren

            If the type of water is not suited for their lungs then yes you can drown sea life

  • Blake Barrett

    No such thing as gender fluidity.

    • 4302

      No such thing as someone named Blake.

      • Katrin Schirmer

        we can always dream.

    • Kali Ravel

      Lol.

    • divgradcurl

      No such thing as idiots.

      Ah, danm, he’s still there. It’s almost as if random counterfactual assertions don’t actually do anything…

    • AussieEevee

      Gender (Despite what Pokemon teaches us) is how a person identifies themselves.

      As the OP said, a person who is gender-fluid, identifies as both genders… fluidly.

      I don’t pretend to understand how it works… but I also don’t understand how a rocket engine works. Doesn’t mean rocket engines don’t exist.

      • divgradcurl

        Don’t tempt the “No such thing as space flight. NASA is a hoax” crowd… 😉

    • seves

      Except there is

    • tater thots

      man i actually thought you changed for a bit. still going at it i guess 🙄

    • cylon_toast

      There totally is! I knew people who are genderfluid. I’m not, but I am Bigender!

    • beacon80

      What gives you the authority to make this statement?

  • Kali Ravel

    It might be the same thing. Stem cells would definitely be involved.

  • jordan stone

    I feel like your friend might prefer it if you don’t introduce them with the name they don’t prefer being called by. Obviously I don’t know your friend, or you, I don’t know the intent behind using that name first, but it seems a little odd to me from the outside.

    • AussieEevee

      I think it might simply be like “Samantha” preferring to go by “Sam”

    • Rob Tonka

      But OP didn’t introduce her to anyone. She was telling her BF about her new friends. Is this “gender fluidity” supposed to be a secret? I’ve got no secrets from my wife, and something like this is not where I would want to start. In fact, I think it would definitely be something I’d want to share with her ahead of time in case the two ever met.

      • Sora200X

        Usually, those who are Gender-Non-Conforming (so, trans, bi-gendered, gender-fluid, a-gender, etc.) don’t like being outed without their permission. Since this was OP’s boyfriend, not Friend’s boyfriend, this would be a perfectly acceptable secret to keep, as it’s not like it’s OP’s secret

        • Rob Tonka

          I could not care less what the gender non-conforming person wants. I’m sharing that with my significant other.

          You’ve got to be someone real important in my life and specifically ask me to keep a secret from my significant other before I even consider it. A new friend? Not a chance.

          • Sora200X

            Then heaven help any GNC friends you ever wind up having, because clearly you don’t care about their right to privacy

          • Rob Tonka

            I operate under the assumption that anything I tell anyone is fair game for them to share with their significant other. I don’t see that is a major breach of privacy. If you share something with me and expect me to keep it from my significant other, you better damn well make sure I agree to keep this secret before telling me.

          • Rob Tonka

            And to be quite honest, you’re right. I don’t care. If, for instance, I know there is a man saying he is a woman and presenting himself as a passable woman, you bet your ass I’m going to inform any male friend of mine who otherwise might attempt to hit on or ask out what he thinks is a woman.

          • 4302

            Woah, that got transphobic real fast.

          • Sora200X

            Then watch as one of your mates, or someone they tell, to “protect” that mate the way you’re “protecting” your mates, winds up bashing said woman for trying to “trick” other men, regardless of what is the actual case, or even just because of the way they identify at all. This is exactly why you don’t have the right to tell other people about their identity, because not only that, but your wife could do the same d*** thing, not even considering the consequences.

          • Rob Tonka

            You can jump to whatever conclusion you want, but I don’t hang out with any violent people.

            And I’m sure you will completely dismiss my concern that a man presenting himself as a awoman might work his way into a compromising position with an unknowing male as not a big deal, I find it to be a huge deal.

          • Sora200X

            Yes, you might not, but do you know everyone that your friends hang out with? Who those friends of theirs hang out with? These things can and do spread around.

            Honestly, yes, I would dismiss it, as, like I said in my other point, by the time it should be relevant, she should have told her partner anyway. It’s not up to anyone else to warn them, it’s up to her.

          • Rob Tonka

            ” It’s not up to anyone else to warn them, it’s up to her.”

            And if HE chooses not to say anything and go forward with the deception? Sorry, but I’d rather not take that chance. I’m not putting my faith in a man claiming to be a woman to be honest about the fact that he’s really man if its such a big secret.

          • Sora200X

            I’d make my point, but it’s obvious that you’re a transphobe who doesn’t deserve my time of day, and it’s not like anything I say is going to change your mind on even basic human respect. I’m done with this argument.

          • Rob Tonka

            Basic human respect? I harbor no ill will to them. They can change their names and I will be happy to call them by that new name. Wear make up, serve in the military, whatever. But I will not pretend that men can become women and women can become men. I will not subscribe to this notion that a man who has surgery is now a woman and has no need to disclose that information to a potential intimate partner. The fact that you think it’s simply up to HIM whether or not to tell lets me know that you are ok with such heinous deception. That is a despicable act that is worthy of as much scorn as someone who would commit violence on them for no good reason.

          • Sora200X

            Are you honestly telling me that you can accept the responsibility of the part you played in the eventual bashing, potential killing (because yes, there are instances where that HAS happened) of an innocent woman just trying to live her life, should it ever come to that? Because you really cannot predict who will find out down the line.

          • Rob Tonka

            I am confident that no one in my circle of friends would ever do such a thing.

            Are you confident that your friend would not deceive a potential intimate partner and not let them know they are really making out with a man?

          • Sora200X

            Yes, I am confident that they would, within a relevant time frame, especially pre-surgery, where it is highly relevant. Post-surgery, I find that it starts to lose it’s relevance, since they are, in all relevant ways, a woman anyway.

          • Rob Tonka

            “Post-surgery, I find that it starts to lose it’s relevance”
            Bullsht. Surgery or not, they will never be a woman. Post surgery, when its easier to hide the facts, that is when its even more relevant to warn your friend.

          • Percy P. Plushie

            Just asking, what is your basis for this assertion “they will never be a woman”?

    • cylon_toast

      Yeah, I find that weird, but then again OP’s friend probably introduced themself to OP in the same manner.

      Like I don’t understand why people go “I’m William but just call me Billy” instead of “I’m Billy”

      • ColdHeart322

        If they don’t care which name you use that much, and if people call them both names, saying as much can remove confusion down the line. For example when a mutual acquaintance asks you where William is, if they only introduced themselves as Billy then you wouldn’t know who they are referring to.

        • cylon_toast

          Makes sense.

    • An Oni Mouse

      The story does specify “new friends” so, I get the feeling that the gender-fluid friend wasn’t terribly shy about admitting it…

  • Neil Fairweather

    While that particular breakthrough would be utterly surprising (given the difficulty of imagining any way it would work) research can be pretty unpredictable. The idea that a medical product wouldn’t be on the market because other things are more important isn’t remotely correct for that reason and others…

    • Mars Jenkar

      Indeed. I’ve heard that the most common phrase that leads to a new invention isn’t “Eureka!” but “Huh. That’s interesting….”

      • Neil Fairweather

        That is believed to be a quote from Isaac Asimov… but yes, “that’s interesting” points the way to a discovery or scientific advance, “eureka” merely indicates that someone clever has realised why something works.

  • HeadlessGhostOfAbrahamLincoln

    “I’m pretty sure they’re focusing more on curing cancer than making you a drink to give you a vagina!”

    But I’d bet that would make things easier.

    • Flami

      Sounds like much less hassle than what is currently the procedure. Just drink this, and BAM! You have a vagina!

      • Max

        You have to admit, it would be more difficult to have testicular cancer if you didn’t have testicles.

        • Flami

          Ha! Very true!

        • Lauren

          It would be a fun way to avoid periods

  • Mechwarrior

    Actually, there are more people who identify as transgender or genderfluid than there are with some forms of cancer. Which would make discovering a new treatment for gender dysphoria quite marketable.

    • Vulpis

      Heh. My firdt thought on reading the post was ‘Depends on which one they can make more money on.’

    • ColdHeart322

      The thing is, cancer is fatal, while gender dysphoria is not directly a life threatening issue.

      • Mechwarrior

        Colds aren’t fatal. By your logic, drug companies wouldn’t bother producing cold remedies until they can cure cancer.

  • cylon_toast

    Gender fluid is not someone who identifies as either gender, gender fluid is someone who changes gender frequently.

    Bigender is someone who identifies as both genders, like me!

    • AussieEevee

      Appreciate the clarification.

      • cylon_toast

        No problemo. =)

    • jordan stone

      Thanks for saying something! I was thinking of posting something like this, but I was a little concerned because sometimes different gender/sexuality terms mean different things to different people, so I wasn’t sure if I should. E.G Pansexual vs Bisexual.

      I’m genderfluid myself, but weirdly I end up being some kind of bigender most of the time anyway, just in different ratios. It’s weird.

      • cylon_toast

        Interesting.

    • beacon80

      I hadn’t heard of bigender before. I knew about gender fluid and non-binary. Always fun to learn something new!

      • cylon_toast

        Cool!

    • An Oni Mouse

      Technically, wouldn’t gender-fluid identify as both genders, just not at the same time? *shrug* It’s all just words, anyway, I wouldn’t take it so seriously.

      • cylon_toast

        I guess technically. XD

  • Tyler T

    I ASSURE YOU, we are working on that.

  • Patrick Foss

    Actually it’s a liquid metal member able to change from male to female like the T1000. 🙂

  • Isis Uptown

    I wonder what color “Gender Fluid” would be?

    • beacon80

      It depends on what color it identifies as at the moment, but it’s generally best to ask what chromatic terms it prefers you to use.