The Day The Earth Stood Tilled

Me: “Department of Agriculture, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, I believe the department of agriculture is part of some sort of council. Is that right?”

Me: “I suppose we are, with the other departments of the government.”

Customer: “There are people in the council working against alien species, correct?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean by alien species.”

Customer: “I mean alien species in plants.”

Me: “Oh, like weeds?”

Customer: “Well, you could call them ‘weeds’ if that makes you feel better.”

Me: “Uhm… well, I can transfer you to our weed specialist. He’ll be able to answer all your questions.”

Customer: “‘Weed’ specialist… yes, that’ll do. By the way, how long has your number been ###-2666?”

Me: “It’s always been this number, sir.”

Customer: “Do you know what triple-6 means?”

Me: “I’m assuming you’re speaking of the Devil?”

Customer: “That is correct.”

Me: “Well, I’m in no position to transfer you to the Devil, but I can transfer you to our weed specialist.”

Customer: “The alien specialist, yes.”

Me: “Uhm… okay. Have a good day, sir!”