The Customers Are The Biggest Pest

(I recently started training for a pest control company setting up free inspections for ants, spiders, rodents, etc. This older gentleman is one of my very first calls.)

Caller: “I think there’s something in my crawl space and I need to know what it is!”

Me: “Okay, I would be happy to get a free technician out to identify what’s down there and give you a solution.”

Caller: “You can’t just tell me what it is?”

Me: “No, sir… We would need to get eyes on it to know what it is.”

Caller: *urgently* “Oh, no, that won’t do at all. I NEED to know what it is!”

Me: “In all honesty, sir, bugs and pests are so varied that no one but a tech would be able to diagnose that.”

Caller: “Can I talk to a tech then?”

Me: “They’re out in the field currently, but they truly would need to see the pest and the conditions in order to hel—”

Caller: “Oh, that just won’t work. I’ll call someone else!” *click*

Trainer: “Who’s he going to call?! Psychic Pest Control?”