The Customer Service Is Strong With This One

(I have just started working at a clothing store a week earlier. I am going about my shift when my other coworkers suddenly decide to make themselves scarce. I grab one making a quick dash for the stockroom.)

Me: “Hey, where are you all going?”

Coworker: “Sorry, the mean regular is coming. He’s all yours.”

(Before I can respond my co-worker is gone. I turn to the entrance and see a huge fellow, dressed in a black technology suit, with an equally imposing dark helmet. He also sounds like he has a breathing problem. He spots me and makes a beeline for me.)

Customer: “I require a black robe, obsidian as the night, as imposing as a planet-destroying battle station, and good at shielding Force-lightning attacks.”

Me: “I don’t think we have one that covers all of those conditions, but let’s look in the evil to semi-evil attire aisle?”

Customer: “I find your lack of faith disturbing, but very well. Let us proceed.”

(We check out the black robes and find a few that might work.)

Customer: “This might do. Do you have it in size XXXL?”

Me: “Sorry, we only go as high as XL. You might want to try the Wookie Emporium just on the other side of the mall.”

Customer: “You have failed me for the last time. I shall not be coming back.”

Me: “I’m sorry we could not find what you were looking for this time, sir. But if you like I can check our online catalogue. I am happy to redouble my efforts to assist you.

Customer: “I hope so for your sake. The emperor is not as forgiving as I am.”