The Customer Is Slow To Realize

(I work at a Halloween store and it is the day before Halloween. It is 10 in the morning and we are starting to get slammed with people buying all sorts of things from makeup to costumes to decorations. We only have three registers and all of them are open. The other two with me are somewhat new and have only been working for a week, while I’ve been there for two months. Needless to say, I’m the faster cashier. A woman comes up buying a fake axe, some fake blood, makeup, and liquid latex.)

Me: “Hi did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes I did. How much for the fake blood?”

Me: “It’s $6.99.”

Customer: “Good lord, who would pay that much for that? Take that off. Why y’all charging so much for that?”

Me: *scanning her other items* “Well, we don’t get a say in the prices; it’s corporate. Your total is $****. Cash or card?”

Customer: “Whoa, slow down, missy. Where’s the fire?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to get the line moving because we’re busy.”

Customer: “What line? There ain’t nobody here. Y’all need to slow down.”

(When she got in line, there were only three other people. Now there’s seven and more are coming.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to keep everyone’s wait time as low as possible.”

Customer: “Whatever. Card.” *swipes* “Why’s it taking so long?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this.”

(Payment goes through and receipt prints.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am. Thanks for coming in.”

Customer: “There you go rushing me again, sweetie. You need to slow down.” *leaves*

Next Customer: “Did that really just happen?”

Me: “Not the strangest thing to happen.”

Next Customer: “Well, I want you to be as slow as possible so that I can waste everyone else’s time.”