Egg-spert Parenting

(A friend of mine who I haven’t seen in a while is coming over to visit. He brings a colorful box with him, and places it on my coffee table.)

Me: “What is that?”

Friend: “Oh, that’s my grandson.”

Me: “What?”

(I look in the box to see an egg with a crudely drawn face, cushioned by colored paper and packing peanuts.)

Me: “What the…are you alright, man?”

Friend: “You can blame the public education system for this one.”

Me: “Alright, I’m listening.”

Friend: “It’s my daughter’s school project; they’re making her class simulate childcare with these eggs. The objective is to make sure they stay unbroken, and they cannot be left unattended. You know, like real children.”

Me: “So, I take it that your daughter decided to dump the responsibility onto others instead of raising the ‘kid’ herself?”

Friend: “Yep. Even though it’s her school project, I still feel like I’ve learned from this more than my daughter has.”

Me: “Oh, yeah? How so?”

Friend: “If these kids can’t even take care of an egg, it scares me to think that some of them might have real kids someday.”

Me: “Well, ain’t that some s***.”

Friend: “Watch your mouth! My grandson can hear you!”