The Customer Is Always Right… Whatever It Takes
Me: “Would you like any toppings?”
Customer: “Gummy bears.”
Me: “We don’t carry those.”
Customer: “Yes, you do!”
Me: “No, we don’t, ma’am. We do have—”
Customer: “—Go to the back and get me some! Stop being a lazy b****!”
Okay, she wants to call me a b****, then I can be a b****.
Me: “Oh, yeah, you’re totally right. I’m withholding all the gummy bears from you personally. We have them in the back, and I’m just lying.”
Customer: “You think you can get away with talking to customers like that?”
Me: “I’ve been here twelve years and have remained the most reliable worker here in all that time, so yes, I think I do.”
Customer: “…well, you USED to have gummy bears.”
Me: “I’ve never seen them.”
Customer: “Well, maybe you had them before you worked here.”
Me: “You heard me say twelve years, right?”
Customer: “Well… maybe they’re just out of stock on the days you’re working!”
The customer was sooo adamant about being right, I almost wanted to see how many more increasingly outrageous mental hoops she would jump through, but sadly, I had a line, so I had to let her die right there on her little hill…
