The Customer And The Beanstalk

A woman is standing close to the customer service desk in the lobby area of our superstore. She’s looking around, confused for a moment, so I ask:

Me: “Do you need any help, ma’am?”

At least that’s what I had intended to say. I got maybe two or three syllables in before she recoiled from me and let out a blood-curdling scream that would feel at home in a horror movie.

Customer: “Oh my god! You terrified me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

She had looked right at me a couple of times, so I was a bit confused.

Customer: “I thought you were part of the building! Since when did [Store] start hiring such tall women?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m 5’10”.”

Customer: “They should keep giant Amazonian women like you in the back where you can reach stuff! Scary giants shouldn’t be at Customer Service waiting to pounce on poor customers!”

Me: *Trying to change the subject.* “Ma’am… did you need any help?”

Customer: “Where is your food court?”

Me: “That’s the other side of that display, ma’am.”

Customer: “Such a big display, too! It’s blocking the view! I bet you put that together, didn’t you, with your giant manly hands!”

Me: “…good day, ma’am.”

My manager came by later, laughing her a** off to tell me about a complaint she’d received about “a giantess attacking customers at the entrance”.

Me: “What did you say?”

Manager: “I actually told her it was our entrance troll, and she should consider herself lucky as normally she’d only be allowed in if she could answer your riddle…”