The Curse Of The Flip Flopper

One Sunday, I went to visit my son, daughter-in-law, and grandson to deliver some food my wife made (lasagna, baby!). When my wife makes lasagna, everybody gets some. [Daughter-In-Law] is in bed as she had hurt her back on Friday, and it was still giving her issues. Been there, done that; it sucks.

I’m playing with my grandson, and my son mentions he is gonna take him to the grocery store to pick up a few things so [Daughter-In-Law] doesn’t have to worry about going. [Grandson] is cutting molars and not in a very good mood. I offer to go with him to the store to expedite the process, as it is on my way home. 

We take separate cars and meet up, start shopping, and are knocking it out, with me grabbing things and my son entertaining little Mr. Cranky Pants. We stopped in the pet food/supplies aisle as he needed kitty litter. I grab it and leave, heading over to the dairy aisle. One more thing to get and we are outta there. 

This pet food aisle is set up as dog food/supplies on one end, a cooler with fresh pet food, bird food/hamster food, etc then cat food/supplies on the opposite end. While leaving the aisle, I did hear someone yelling “HEY!” but paid it no mind. 

While walking to the dairy aisle, I heard a faint ‘slapslapslapslapslapslap’ that is the unmistakable sound of… flip-flops. We live in Florida, and flip-flops are a way of life. 

I’m walking in the dairy aisle still hearing the ‘slapslapslapslapslapslap’.

I grab the butter and as we are turning the corner to head to the registers, ‘SLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAP.’

Woman: *Visibly out of breath.* “HEY! STOP RUNNING FROM ME! I’VE BEEN CHASING YOU FOR AGES! I NEEEEEEED HELP! WHERE IS [ITEM]?!”

We both turn around, and right away she starts in about chasing us down, blah, blah, blah. You could tell she was confused, as we are not dressed anywhere close to what employees wear (green uniforms). She kept staring at our shirts. Me with a Steppenwolf t-shirt complete with a large wolf head, and my son was wearing a Donkey Kong t-shirt. Not ready to admit defeat yet, she tried to say something else and…

At this moment, my grandson sticks his arms straight out and starts waving his hands around, saying:

Grandson: “NOOOOO!”

Yup! We both lost it and started laughing. Just said “Don’t work here!”, turned around and continued to the registers without incident. 

She stood there, mouth gaping. She ran down to the other end of the pet aisle, passed three other aisles, then ran down the entire length of the dairy aisle in her flip-flops to chase down two men and a baby to ask about some random dog food.

SLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAP!