The Craziest Caller You Ever “Saw”

While working in tech support, I get a call from a man who can’t get his external drive working. This is back in the day when parallel and serial ports live next to USB ports.

Me: “Can I ask you what ports you have?”

Caller: “I don’t have any.”

Me: “You don’t have any ports on the outside of your drive?”

Caller: “Well, no. I’ve been working on the inside of the computer to try to get everything working. I had a lot of trouble getting into the case!”

Me: “How did you open the case?”

Caller: “With a hacksaw.”

Me: “With… with a hacksaw?“

Caller: “Yeah, down the backside of the tower.”

He had sawed through the mainboard, expansion cards, and yes, even the power supply.

Me: “Sir, you just destroyed every component in your machine, and you’re lucky you didn’t hit a capacitor in the power supply and kill yourself.”

Unsurprisingly, I was unable to help him.