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The Crazies Find A Way

, , , , | Friendly | October 25, 2019

(On my way to work, I go to the grocery store across the street from my house to purchase an energy drink. The store has an armed off-duty officer, making it more appealing to go to than the convenience store right next door. I mistakenly think I’m less likely to encounter crazies at this store. It is important to note that I’m wearing my work uniform. On my way out the door, a man who was talking to the ODO asks me where I work.)

Customer: “Hey, man! Where you work?”

Me: “It’s a secret.”

(I’m not dumb enough to tell people how to follow me or bother me at work. The customer proceeds to follow me outside, shouting. It’s important to note that the customer is built like an NFL linebacker. I’m 6”4” and reasonably buff, so I’m not defenseless. On the flip side, my would-be opponent is large enough that if the situation gets out of hand, it’s going to get WAY out of hand. I don’t want to run to my car, on the off chance that he gets my plate number and tries to look me up. I turn to face him, keeping my left side toward him while I discreetly unfold my pocket knife with my right hand, out of his sight. I have a pistol license, but my workplace has a no firearms policy. Since I’m in uniform, the pocket knife is all I have.)

Customer: “What makes you think you can say that?!”

Me: *thinking “I’m going to be late for work”* “I don’t tell people where I work, so they can’t track me down at work.”

(I do a good job of keeping my voice neutral and calm.)

Customer: “Tell me where you work!”

Me: “I don’t tell people where I work, so they can’t track me down at work.”

Customer: “You know what? I’m going to find out where you work!”

(The customer then stomped off angrily — back into the store, no less! — making disparaging remarks about my income level and motivations. As soon as he was out of my sight, I replaced the pocket knife, got in my car, and drove away. I checked my rearview mirror constantly, but fortunately, there were no other cars on the road. I got to work safely, thankful that the situation didn’t escalate. Seriously, though: what world does this guy live in where he thinks random strangers have any obligation to answer him?)

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Have you ever met a customer who thought the world revolved around them?

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