The Couponator 51: Dawn Of A New Stupider Age
A customer walks in and just wordlessly hands me a box containing some headphones and a coupon. The coupon is for half price on cat litter.
Me: “Sir, did you want to go get the cat litter, and I’ll hold this for you?”
Customer: “What? No, I want the headphones!”
Me: *Confused, but whatever.* “Okay, that will be $79.99.”
Customer: “No, I don’t need to pay!”
Me: “Why?”
Customer: “Don’t be stupid, I have a coupon!”
Me: “For cat litter.”
Customer: “It’s a coupon for your store!”
Me: “Yes, but for cat litter.”
Customer: “Coupon means free!”
Me: “Sir, did you even read the coupon?”
Customer: “Why should I have to? Coupon means free!”
Me: “Sir, this coupon entitles you to half-price cat litter. That’s all it says on here.”
Customer: “A coupon means it’s free! That’s how it works!”
Me: *Quoting an old meme.* “That’s not how any of it works. Sir, if you’re not willing to pay for these headphones, and you’re not willing to buy anything else, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Customer: “But… I want the headphones.”
Me: “Sir, please understand, you can’t use the coupon for that.”
Customer: “This is why everyone shops on Amazon; they don’t make you understand things!”
Related:
The Couponator 50: Endgame
The Couponator 49: The Level 99 Checkout Clerk
The Couponator 48: The A**hole Tax
The Couponator 47: Double Drive-Thru Dumbfounding
The Couponator 46: The Rise Of The Mix-Ins
