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The Couponator 26: Father’s Day

, , , , , | Right | May 28, 2021

It is the Saturday night before Father’s Day. A table of four comes in around: it looks like mom, dad, and two adult children. It’s been a heck of a night, and I rush over to greet them and get their drink orders. When I return, I ask if they are ready to order or if they need a few more minutes to look at the menu. They ask for a few more minutes, so I rush off to make the thousand and a half salads I need for other orders. When I return:

Me: “Are we ready to order? Any questions?

The mom asks about our calzones and pastas, eventually ordering a dinner with a salad, while the son orders a calzone and a salad. The dad is pointing between himself and his daughter.

Dad: “Y’all do half-and-half pizzas?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Dad: “Cool. We’re going to split a medium, half [specialty] and half [other specialty]. And a salad.”

Me: “One salad? Big or small?”

Dad: *Grunts* “Small.”

I start reading back everyone’s orders, and just as I’m about done, the dad interrupts me.

Dad: “I wanna use the coupon y’all sent me. The Father’s Day Special thing.”

Corporate often sends out coupons for holidays without telling our management. Fortunately, it isn’t too big of a deal as the coupons generally only apply to online orders, though sometimes my boss will honor it in-store if the customer prints it out so we can keep a paper trail.

Me: “Okay, I’ll have to check with my manager, as I personally am unaware of which coupon was sent out.”

Dad: “Yeah, hey, if you can do the coupon, make that medium a large.”

I find my manager taking a breather from the kitchen and ask about the coupon. He rolls his eyes and tells me to give him a minute to see if he can pull it up. I make the three salads, and as I’m taking them out, I stop by my manager again. He hands his phone to me, displaying the ad.

Manager: “$10 off a $50 or more online order. Valid only on Father’s Day. If he prints it out and places an order tomorrow, we will accept it. Or he can use it online.”

As I reach the table, I explain this to the dad. He stares at me.

Dad: “I gotta print it out? How am I supposed to do that when I’m sitting here? Y’all got a printer I can use?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t. But you can print it out at home, and we can accept it tomorrow. Only tomorrow.”

Dad: *Exasperated sigh* “Man! Just give us the medium, then. And where’s the other salad? We each got one! Four people, FOUR SALADS!”

I race back to the salad table and quickly put together a fourth salad, annoyed since I specifically confirmed the order for three. When the rest of their food comes out, Dad is pretty quiet. The rest of the meal goes well, and as I’m getting ready to take their bill, I feel a bit sympathetic, understanding the disappointment of not being able to use the $10 off.

All of our takeout boxes have coupons printed on them, and I usually end up with a pocket full of them by the end of the night. I dig one out for $1.50 off of a medium and apply it to their $65 bill. I explain to Dad that although we couldn’t honor the other coupon, I was able to find a different, smaller discount that I could give him. In the nastiest tone, the dad laughs.

Dad: “Ha! A f****** dollar fifty. Like that’s gonna do much!”

When they left, I collected my $2 tip from the table and decided to screw sympathy and trying to do anything nice for customers.

The Couponator 25: The Cheese Explosion
The Couponator 24: My Funds, My Rules
The Couponator 23: The Time Destroyer
The Couponator 22: Coupons Of Mass Consumption
The Couponator 21: The FINAL Sale

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