The Couponator 25: The Cheese Explosion

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2021

I’m working my regular Saturday shift when a customer comes through the door. 

Me: “Welcome to [Pizza Place], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I have this coupon for a free pizza.”

I take the coupon and look at it.

Me: “Yes, this is for a large one-topping pizza. What topping would you like?”

Customer: “I want pepperoni, hamburger, and extra cheese.”

Me: “That is three toppings, and this coupon is only for one topping. So, which of those would you like?”

Customer: “I want pepperoni, hamburger, and extra cheese.”

Me: “Yes, but I can only give you one of those. If you want three toppings, you can just buy a pizza and use your coupon next time.”

The customer widens their eyes and looks slightly crazy.

Customer: “I want my hamburger! And don’t forget extra cheese!”

Since he is only asking for two toppings now and I want to get rid of him, I ask my manager if that is okay.

Me: “Hey, this guy is crazy and won’t leave me alone. Can I just give him two toppings so he will leave faster?”

Manager: “He wants extra cheese, so just type it in as beef—”

We call hamburger “beef,” along with the vast majority of the population.

Manager: “—and he won’t even know the difference between regular cheese and extra cheese.”

I get back to the customer who has been staring at me the entire time I have been talking to my manager.

Me: “Okay, I will give you your beef and cheese pizza.”

Customer: “I want hamburger. Not beef. Hamburger! And you’d better make sure it has lots and lots of cheese on it!”

I don’t want to keep him around anymore and am also very annoyed and slightly frightened.

Me: “Yes, I will give you your hamburger and cheese pizza.”

I try to take the coupon from him but he doesn’t let it go. I explain to him that store policy is that we need to collect all of our coupons. I am stronger and quicker, so I take the coupon and lock it in the register.

I go over to where my manager is and start making the pizza. Unfortunately for me, we have glass walls so that kids can see us making their pizzas. This guy is leaning over the glass wall just giving me the death stare the entire time, which makes me super uncomfortable. I eventually just tell my manager to make it as I pretend to grab something from the cooler.

I hide in the cooler and don’t come out until the customer is gone. While in there, I can hear him shouting:

Customer: “You didn’t put extra cheese! I want extra cheese! Give me my coupon! It’s my coupon, not yours! Mine!”

When everything is finally over and I emerge from my hiding spot, my manager just looks at me, dumbfounded.

Manager: “Don’t you ever leave me alone with him again. He is absolutely insane.”

Luckily for us, he never came back again. This was two years ago, and my manager still holds it against me that I went and hid while she dealt with him!

Related:
The Couponator 23: The Time Destroyer
The Couponator 22: Coupons Of Mass Consumption
The Couponator 21: The FINAL Sale
The Couponator 20: Coupons Of Mass Consumption

1 Thumbs
294