Two Sides To Number One

(My parents have been married for 34 years. They are having a fight and my mom is in the process of leaving the house to cool off.)

Mom: “I will see you later when I’m not angry at you anymore!”

Dad: *in a mocking love tone* “I love you sweet heart!”

(While backing out, my mom flips him the bird.)

Dad: “Number one? You think I’m number one?”

(He starts singing and doing a little dance in the driveway.)

Dad: “I’m number one! I’m number one! She thinks I’m number one!”