The Costs Sexceed The Benefits

| UK | Working | April 4, 2013

(I am going to Tanzania to do charity work, and am at a local clinic to see the nurse about vaccinations.)

Nurse: “Okay, so we’ve scheduled in appointments for you to have the Hep A and Typhoid vaccines. We’d really highly recommend several of these other vaccines though.”

Me: “Well, since I was highly allergic to the last vaccines I was given, I’m not keen on taking many more. So, I’d rather have these as a preliminary to see how things go.”

Nurse: “We really do recommend you have the Hep B vaccine.”

Me: “Well, I would, but I’d rather test how these others go first, since they’re the first I’ve had since my reaction.”

Nurse: “I think it’s still wise that you get the Hep B vaccination.”

Me: “I may be interested in the future, but not just yet. Besides, it’s three injections rather than the one, and it’s not free like the others.”

Nurse: “I can assure you the £180 is well worth the investment.”

Me: “Yes, but I don’t want to schedule myself in for three appointments for those when I don’t know how I’m going to react to the first two.”

Nurse: “I think you’ll change your mind. You really should have Hep B.”

Me: “How do you even get Hepatitis B anyway?”

Nurse: “Well, there are two methods of transmission. We recommend you get it if you’re going to be having sex because it’s mostly sexually transmitted.”

Me: “That won’t be a problem. I won’t be having sex while I’m in Tanzania.”

Nurse: “But you’re going for a couple of months. You’re young; you won’t be able to resist.”

Me: “I can assure you I don’t need the vaccine.”

Nurse: “But what if you meet someone? There’s lots of attractive women over there, and one thing will lead to another.”

Me: “That won’t be an issue.”

Nurse: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I’m gay, and homosexual acts carry a jail sentence. I think I’ll manage to refrain for two months.”

Nurse: “Oh… yeah, you probably don’t need the vaccine then…”

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