The Cookie Monster Creates A Monster

My little brother is in the phase where he’s discovered “technically correct”.

One evening after dinner, Mom tells us we can each have one cookie. A few minutes later, she walks back into the kitchen and stops dead. My brother is carefully balancing five cookies into a single towering stack with frosting between each layer.

Mom: “What exactly are you doing?”

Brother: “Having one cookie.”

Mom: “That is CLEARLY five cookies.”

Brother: “No, it’s one cookie structure.”

Mom pinches the bridge of her nose.

Mom: “You know what? Fine. Eat your ‘one cookie.’”

Dad is absolutely useless during this entire interaction because he’s trying not to laugh into his coffee.

The next evening at dinner, Mom serves broccoli alongside the chicken. 

Not florets.

Not pieces.

An entire uncut head of broccoli lands on my brother’s plate with a heavy thunk.

Brother: “What is THIS?”

Mom: “Your vegetable.”

Brother: “That’s a whole broccoli!”

Mom: “No, it’s one broccoli.”