The Container Couldn’t Contain It

, , , , | Right | July 16, 2018

(I work in a Christian bookstore. We don’t have a dedicated lunchroom. All staff use a table and chairs which are set up behind the store, in front of the shipping container we use as storage. [Coworker #1] and  [Coworker #2] are both male and I am female. Both coworkers rush inside laughing, looking shocked.)

Me: “What’s happening?”

Coworker #2: “You will not believe what is happening out there!”

Me: “What?!”

Coworker #1: “Okay, first of all, [Coworker #2] and I were out there eating lunch. Nothing special. And I looked up to that tall building on the corner. There were people pressed against the glass, looking down our way! One even had binoculars! I thought, ‘What’s so interesting about a black man and a white man eating lunch?!’”

Coworker #2: “He’s not kidding! It was nuts! I thought, ‘What the h*** could they be looking at?’ So, I looked over my shoulder and leaned my chair back a bit to take a look behind the container.”

(Both coworkers start giggling again.)

Me: “And? What?!”

Coworker #2: “There are people back there. Having sex!”

(I gape at him in disbelief.)

Coworker #1: “He’s not kidding. They are having sex!”

Me: “I suddenly need to put this box here in the bin out back.”

(I walk out the back to put the item in the bin, glance over, and yes, there are people having sex on the very hard and sharp rocks between the storage container and the fence. I rush inside and wander in disbelief into the office.)

Me: *to the manager* “Um, [Manager]? There are people having sex behind the container.”

Manager: “What?!”

Me: “Seriously. [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2] were out the back having lunch and just told me, and I saw for myself.”

(Our manager takes off out the back and I follow. She stops at the end of the container and just looks at them in disbelief.)

Manager: “I don’t think that’s very appropriate, do you?”

Sex-Man: “Yeah, probably, but we’re almost done.”

(The manager walks back inside, not quite knowing what to do. About two minutes later, they wander out from behind the store, wander INTO the store, browse for a while, and then leave.)

Me: *to the manager later* “I think we may have just won the ‘Crazy Work Story’ competition for all time.”

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