The Confident Voice Of Reason

My son is six years old, and for at least a year now, I’ve encouraged independence in him, such as ordering his own food when we go out to eat. He loves talking to people and doing ‘big kid’ tasks, so he takes to it readily. When we’re at a coffee shop, he wants water, and I allow him to go to the counter to order it himself.

He’s standing at the counter for a couple of minutes when a woman enters the shop and stands near the counter. My son is a bit bouncy (he’s a six-year-old with ADHD, we’re working on the staying still part), but is very much at the counter and in front of the register. A minute later, a busy barista is finally freed up and comes to the register. The woman barges forward and begins her order.

I see my son turn to the woman and say something, though I’m too far to hear him. She takes a step back, and I hear my son order his water politely, give his name, and say thank you.

When he comes back, I ask for details.

Me: “Hey, what happened with that woman who was standing behind you?”

Son: “She started her order ahead of me.”

Me: “I saw that! What did you say to her? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

Son: “I said, ‘Hey, I was in line first!'”

Me: “Good job! Sometimes grown-ups think they can go ahead of kids just because they’re grown-ups, but you were standing there before she even came inside, so you were definitely ahead of her. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself!”

Son: “I maybe yelled a little bit.”

Me: “Well, we don’t want to yell at people, but I couldn’t hear you from here, so I don’t think you yelled.”

Son: “I used my confident voice!”