The Coddling Stops Here

(I’m at a customer’s house to try to repair a desk…)

Me: “Well, it can’t be repaired, so I’ll have to order a new desktop. It could be a couple of weeks.”

Customer: “So you’re taking this one with you right?”

Me: “No, I can’t fit it in my vehicle.”

Customer: “So you’ll be back for it then?”

Me: “No, we don’t do delivery; henceforth, we don’t do pickups, either.”

Customer: “But I bought it from your store!”

Me: “…and you took it home from my store.”

Customer: “Yeah, and it barely fit in my SUV!”

Me: “But it did fit, and you took it home with you.”

Customer: “Well, you’re going to need to pick it up. I’m not bringing it all the way back.”

Me: “Stay with me here: you bought it, picked it up, took it to your home and discovered it had a problem. Now you want to disavow all responsibility? That isn’t how it works. If you got a blender home and it didn’t work, would you call the store and tell them to come to pick it up?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “You’re remodeling your home, not paying me to do it. Don’t forget what that Y stands for in DIY.”

Customer: *sheepishly* “…can you help me put it in my car?”