The Cake Might Not Be A Lie, But It Sure As Heck Is Weird
It’s the middle of the breakfast rush when a customer walks over and holds his phone up just inches from my face.
Customer: “Do you guys make this?”
I glance at the screen. It’s a cake shaped like a corgi wearing sunglasses and riding a surfboard.
Me: “We don’t normally do sculpted cakes, but I can recommend a decorator who might.”
Customer: “No, I don’t want this exactly. I want something like it.”
Me: “Okay… What’s the occasion?”
Customer: “My sister just passed her dental boards. She’s obsessed with ducks. Can you do a cake shaped like a tooth with little duck feet? Maybe wearing a graduation cap?”
Me: “I… can ask our decorator if she’s up for it.”
Customer: “And it has to taste like mango. But also, be purple. She won’t eat cake that looks like cake.”
I take notes, channeling my inner court stenographer.
Customer: “Also, if it could say ‘Ducktor Approved’ on top, that would be great.”
I pause.
Me: “So: a purple, mango-flavored tooth with duck feet, wearing a graduation cap, saying ‘Ducktor Approved.'”
Customer: “Exactly! But tasteful.”
I glance at the decorators in the back, one of whom is shrugging, giving a “why not” energy.
Me: “Sure. We’ve done weirder.”
We made the cake to those exact specifications. When he came to pick it up, he said, “This isn’t how I pictured it,” but still took it with him. I’m sorry, but how many ways can you picture a purple tooth with duck feet, wearing a graduation cap, saying ‘Ducktor Approved’?”
Related:
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 12
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 11
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 10
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 9
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 8
