The Bruise Is A Ruse
(The restaurant I work for allows us to dress up on Halloween, provided we do not wear a mask or anything revealing, too scary, or otherwise inappropriate. I dress up like a female biker as this is the easiest way to dress up and still follow the rules. To add little extra touches to my costume, I slap on some fake tattoos and use makeup to create a black eye. I am working drive-thru and a few people comment on the black eye, but they just remark on what a good job I have done with the makeup. Then, a gentleman pulls up to the window.)
Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you okay?”
Me: *joking* “Yeah. You should see the other guy, though.”
Customer: *completely serious* “You mean to tell me a MAN did that to you?! I thought you got into a fight with another girl!”
Me: “No, sir. No one did this to me. It’s makeup.”
Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie if someone is hitting you.”
Me: “I’m perfectly aware of that, sir, but I assure you it’s just makeup. See?”
(I wipe my finger on the “bruise” and show him the color on my finger.)
Customer: “Oh, okay. I thought I was going to have to beat someone up for you.”
Me: “I can tell you right now: if someone ever hit me I would make sure they SERIOUSLY regretted it immediately!”
Customer: “I bet you would!”
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