The Boyfriend Won’t Fall Far From The Tree

(My boyfriend and my first ex-boyfriend are helping me decorate for my birthday party. We’re all still friends, and I joke around about having dated my ex a lot. My boyfriend is balancing precariously to place a decoration up high.)

Me: “Please, be careful.”

Boyfriend: “Don’t worry. If I fall on my head it’ll do more damage to the floor than me.”

Ex-boyfriend: “Wow, you sure know how to pick ’em.”

Me: “Says the first.”