The Boss Does Not Approve Of This Slight Bulb Moment

The following story is from a while ago and vastly simplified, as I don’t want to slow things down with superfluous details.

As I am coming into work one morning, my boss stops me.

Boss: “The lights aren’t working in the stockroom. Go fix it.”

Me: “Uh, if it’s anything more than replacing a lightbulb, I can’t do that.”

Boss: “Go figure it out.”

I replace the lightbulbs, but no light.

Me: “As I suspected, Boss, it must be an electrical issue. I can’t fix that.”

Boss: “Go figure it out.”

Me: “I’m not qualified to do that, I’m not an electrician.”

Boss: “I’m too busy! Go figure it out!”

Fine. I forego my usual opening duties and call a local electrician. I decide to pay whatever it takes to get someone in as soon as possible. I have an electrician in to fix it within a couple of hours, and when the simple electrical fix is done, I present the invoice to my boss.

Boss: “What’s this? Who is this guy?”

Me: “This is the electrician. He fixed the lights. Please pay the man.”

Boss: “What?! I can’t afford this! I wanted you to figure it out!”

Me: “I did! I got someone in to fix it!”

Boss: “I can’t authorize this! This isn’t in our budget!”

Me: “Go figure it out.”

The electrician did get paid, of course. The boss said this was coming out of my end-of-year bonus, but considering none of us ever got bonuses and any promise to get one never materialised, I could live with it.