The Blessing Becomes A Curse

| Working | September 26, 2013

(A couple with a very pronounced Southern accent come in and purchase a few things. They’re very polite and the transaction goes far more smoothly than most.)

Me: “And here is your change. Thank you, sir!”

Customer: “Nah, thank you darlin’! Y’all have a blessed day now!”

(After they leave, my coworker turns to me with a look of disgust.)

Coworker: “Can you believe that?”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “I can’t believe you didn’t say anything!”

Me: “About what?”

Coworker: “About what he said to you!” *mockingly imitating the customer’s accent* “‘Y’all have a blessed day;’ that’s so offensive! I mean, you’re atheist! He was imposing his beliefs on you!”

Me: “Not really. I mean, I appreciate what you’re saying, but there was no way for him to know I’m an atheist. Besides, he was just trying to spread good will and kindness in wishing me a day with blessings from what he believes is the highest authority. He was just being a good Christian. It’s not like he lectured me.”

Coworker: “He didn’t have to force it on you like that though! We have freedom of religion in this country for a reason! And if he really was a good Christian, he’d have a beard to go with that mustache. It’s in Leviathan.”

Me: “I think you should probably just kind of stop. Go clean the soda fountain or something.”

Coworker: “But the First Amendment—”

Me: “—has nothing to do with soda. Now, scoot.”

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