The Biggest Stink Is Coming From Someone Else

I’m a manager at my furniture store, and it’s nearing the holiday season. We’re running a promotion, which is keeping the store hopping. A middle-aged woman approaches me and wants to know why the ladies’ room smells so bad.

I go check it out, fearing the worst as only a retail person can. I don’t smell anything outside the door, so there is nothing concerning at first blush.

I walk in, and I notice by the tennis shoes that someone is in a stall. From the sound and smell of things, that person is working on a number two. Since I hear the appropriate sounds of someone taking a dump in the actual toilet and not an existential horror of an “art” project, I have no objections.

I leave quietly, and the middle-aged woman is practically right in my face before I can take three steps. 

Customer: “Well? Why does it smell so bad?”

Me: “Someone is in the stall using the toilet and most likely that is the source of the odor.”

Customer: “You should do something about that!”

Me: “We cannot control people’s bodily functions. If you are able, just wait a few minutes after the person is done and let our fans do the work. Then it won’t smell so bad.”

Customer: “Oh! I don’t have to go to the bathroom. I just wanted to know what the smell was!”

Me: *Thoroughly disgusted* “Let me get this straight; you just go around smelling bathrooms that you don’t even need to go into?”

Customer: “Well, you’re an employee! I would expect you to take care of problems!”

Me: *Now angry* “Ma’am, look how busy the store is. You could have figured it out for yourself if you had taken the time to pay attention for a single minute. Instead, you interrupted my job and apparently hoped that I would waste my time harassing someone who is behaving perfectly appropriately? Lady, is there something wrong with you?”

The woman turned red, turned around, and stormed out. And yes, a later check showed that there were no horrors to be found in the restroom.