The Biggest Classroom Pest

(Our science class has a trio of unusual pets, Madagascar hissing cockroaches, because our teacher tends to be a bit unconventional. I’m fairly quiet, shy, and a loner, so for some reason people tend to assume I’m girly and skittish based solely on those qualities, despite the fact that nothing about my habits suggests that I am. One classmate in particular seems determined to pick on me because of that. At the moment this story takes place it’s a free period, during which we’re allowed to handle the roaches if we want to.)

Classmate: “Cockroach!”

(He throws one of the roaches on top of my desk. I just stare at her scurrying to find a hiding place in my backpack and am more upset that he threw an innocent creature then that I am at having a cockroach flung at my face.)

Classmate: “Why aren’t you screaming? It’s a cockroach! You’re supposed to be screaming!”

(I glare at him, pick the roach up, lick her, and set her on my head, allowing her to crawl through my hair and cuddle up in a warm spot by my neck.)

Me: “She’s mine now. You can’t have her back.”

Classmate: “What’s wrong with you? Girls are supposed to be scared of cockroaches!”

Teacher: “You do realize that you just tried to scare the only person who would volunteer to take the roaches home during the holidays by chucking one at her head, right?”

(At the end of the year I got to take the roaches home and keep them. I enjoyed almost another year with them and was sad to see them go when they died.)