The Biggest Baby Here Isn’t The Toddler

, , , , | Right | May 26, 2021

Many years ago, when my now-grown, normally well-behaved children were small, one of them a toddler, we stopped at a small, family-oriented restaurant to eat; the name of the establishment even included the word “family” and the decor and ambiance were heavily child-themed. It was a weekday, between lunch and dinner rushes, and only one other table, on the far side of the room, was occupied, by a single, middle-aged man.

We’d been served our meals and were eating and quietly talking among ourselves. My toddler, to express his pleasure with his food, banged his spoon on the highchair tray a couple of times and laughed loudly, but he quickly settled back down to continue messily shoveling food into his mouth, babbling happily but not excessively noisily.

Suddenly, from across the room, there is a shout.

Customer: “Keep those d*** babies quiet; I came here to eat, not to watch a bunch of kids banging away, screaming, and throwing food!”

Not knowing how to react, I turned to look at the man having the fit as the waiter sprinted in his direction, just in time to see him knock his beverage over onto his plate then into his lap as he tried to catch it, also sending his plate flying off the table onto the floor and noisily shattering.

He then jumped up, slammed some bills onto the table, and bumped into the waiter, nearly knocking him off his feet as he stormed out the door shouting:

Customer: “F****** noisy, messy kids, keep the h***spawn at home where they belong!”

He practically sprinted toward a nearby hotel, flailing his arms and ranting, right by two other restaurants in the parking lot, neither of them particularly family-friendly.

Then, as the waiter apologized for the tantrum we’d witnessed and told the kids they’d done nothing wrong and were behaving better than many adults, I got to explain to my kids, per their inquiries, why a grown man could be so mean, make such a mess, and use “bad” words.

Here’s hoping he was just having a bad day and that wasn’t his usual demeanor!

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