The Best Sucking Grade

(I’m in my ninth grade Honors English class, and my teacher is explaining why she hates when students get 89% for their grade.)

Teacher: “When you have an 89, you’ve tried really hard and you’re obviously really good, so I feel bad about not giving you the A. Now, if you got a 79, I have less sympathy because you’ve clearly been sucking on some of the work. And if you have 69, you’ve obviously been doing a lot of sucking—”

(She breaks off and the whole class is in tears with laughter.)

Teacher: “ONE OF YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED ME BEFORE I SAID THAT!”