The Battery Has An Immortal Charge

(My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship: she lives in New York, USA, I live in London, England. We’re talking online and I’m trying to persuade her to save her battery when she’s travelling in the car.)

Me: “Don’t drain your battery for me.”

Girlfriend: “I want to though!”

Me: “Nooo!”

Me: “What if you get in a car crash and you can’t call an ambulance because you wasted your battery on me?”

Girlfriend: “Babe, it’s fine.”

Me: “Then you’d be dead and it would be my fault.”

Girlfriend: “Worst case scenario, baby.”

Me: “But it could happen.”

Girlfriend: “Honestly! My mom has a phone, too. You know?”

Me: “But, still.”

Me: “Promise me you won’t die?”

Girlfriend: “I can’t promise that. But I promise to stay safe.”

Me: “No! You have to promise to ascend above your mortality and become an immortal being akin to deities!”

Girlfriend: “…You weren’t supposed to know I could do that.”