The Bald And The Beautiful

(I’m stocking food in one of the grocery aisles. At the opposite end of the aisle are two teenage boys and a pair of bald women customers. One of the customers has dark brown patches on her scalp and is wearing sunglasses. The other has clear skin, is wearing a nice dress and extravagant earrings. I’m a male with alopecia, so seeing young, balding people doesn’t really mystify me. The two teenage boys start to point and laugh at them.)

Teenage Boy #1: “Man, these two d***’s think they look so good! Bald b**** trying to look girly; she’d look hot if she didn’t have a nasty man head!”

Teenage Boy #2: “Look at the nasty spots on her head!”

Teenage Boy #1: “Nasty spotty b**** with her nasty lesbian friend!”

(Horrified, I start to storm over to stop this, when the customer with patchy skin whips around, mere inches from the teenage boy’s faces and speaks through gritted teeth.)

Customer #1: “I have f****** cancer! Metastatic breast cancer. I probably don’t have very long to f****** live. These ‘nasty spots’ are lesions. My best friend shaved her head to support me. She’s the best support system you could f****** ask for, and if you two have a support system in making fun of two women whose lives you don’t even know, then I’m sorry for you. So, I’ll thank you to hold off on these comments in the future, just in case the people you’re berating are either dying or about to lose someone they love.”

(The color leaves the boys faces, and they hang their heads low, while the women walk down the aisle toward me. Customer #2 turns back to them.)

Customer #2: “Oh, and even if we were bald lesbians, you still had better keep your d*** mouths shut!”

(As they walk past me, I tip my hat off to them to reveal my smooth, shiny head. The women high five me, and walk to the next aisle arm in arm.)