The Babysitter of Fleet Street

(My oldest brother is left to babysit my younger sister and me for the very first time. We’re eight and six years old. He decides to ensure our good behavior via scare tactics.)

Brother: “If you two don’t behave I’m going to cut you up and bake you into pies.”

(My parents return home to find us both crying in the corner. He wasn’t allowed to babysit anymore.)