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The Argument Has No Leg To Stand On

, | Friendly | December 3, 2014

(I live on the second floor of the dorms. I usually take the stairs, but on this particular day, I’m carrying my suitcase. Another girl gets in the elevator with me and presses the button for the 5th floor. She stands directly in front of the buttons.)

Me: “Can you please hit two?”

Girl: “Ugh, why can’t you walk up the stairs?”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m carrying something.”

Girl: “Seriously, that doesn’t even look heavy. Just take the stairs!”

Me: “My hands are full and I can’t hold the railing, not that it’s really any of your business. Besides, in the time it took you to argue your point, we could both be in our own rooms. Please hit two.”

Girl: “You’re being so ridiculous! It’s one flight of stairs!”

Me: “With my hands full, I really can’t.” *I bend down and roll up my pant leg a little past my ankle to show my artificial leg* “It’s been about a year now, but I still have a little trouble with stairs when I’m carrying stuff.”

Girl: *goes pale*

Me: “So, can you f** *ing hit two now?!”