The Apple Falls Very Far From The Tree

(When I was in elementary school, everyone was given a sapling for some environmental initiative. I planted my sapling in an unkempt part of my parents’ backyard. I moved out of their place several years ago, am living in a new city, and recently bought a home. The following conversation happens on the phone with my mother:)

Mom: “So, when are you coming to pick up all the stuff you left at our house?”

Me: “What stuff? I took care of the last few boxes two Christmases ago. You even helped me. What else is left?”

Mom: “Well… Aren’t you going to take your tree?”

Me: “Tree?”

Mom: “The sapling in the backyard. There’s no room for it there!”

Me: “You mean the one that I planted in third grade? I didn’t think to take it, seeing as it’s a tree.”

Mom: “It’s too crowded in the back. You need to get it out of there!”

Me: “Mom, I’m not going to dig up a tree and drive it six hours to [City]. We’ll let nature take care of the crowding.”