Had An Itch For Meatball Pizza

(My boyfriend and I are laying down for bed, when he starts furiously scratching his testicles.)

Me: “You okay, honey?”

Boyfriend: “Babe, my testicles will NOT stop itching!” *scratches more furiously*

Me: “It’s because you just shaved and your hair is growing back in.”

Boyfriend: “Honey,” *still scratching* “Will you get me a warm paper towel?”

Me: “Actually cold will help it better.”

Boyfriend: “We don’t have any ice or anything!” *still desperately scratching*

Me: *goes to freezer and sees one TV dinner and a single-packaged french bread pizza… I grab the pizza* “Here… use this.”

Boyfriend: *gratefully puts packaged frozen pizza on testicles* “Oh, my God… that feels SO much better!” *makes goofy happy face*

Me: “Honey, it’s wrong to love a pizza this much…” *laughing*