The Ambulance Was Inevitable…

(I’m a senior in college and my friend is telling me about a summer job she had at a popular fast food chain. She’s known for having wild stories but I think it’s safe to say this one takes the cake. The fast food chain is connected to a gas station so it’s typical that they have someone buy beer next door, drink it in their car, and then come to them for food. This guy comes in at seven in the morning, clearly drunk.)

Customer: “What do you have?”

Friend: “We’re serving breakfast right now, sir.”

Customer: “Do you have any bourbon?”

Friend: “I’m sorry, did you say–?”

Customer: “Bourbon. You got any?”

Friend: “I apologize, sir, we don’t sell that. We do, however, have breakfast at the moment.”

Customer: “Can I get your number?”

Friend: “Sir, how old do you think I am?”

(A lot of people think she’s very young due to how short she is, the uniform they have to wear, and her not wearing any makeup.)

Customer: “Fourteen. So can I get your number?”

(At this point, my friend gets the manager to take over and he serves him and he leaves. They think that’s the end of it. Wrong. A few hours later, some employees and customers both complain of a guy stumbling around in the parking lot. Unfortunately, he’s on the gas station’s side so they can’t do anything but talk to them.)

Manager: “That guy out there, he’s causing problems. Can you call the police?”

Gas Station Owner: “No. He’s our best customer and always buys the most stuff from us.”

(So, nothing is done about the weirdo guy. He goes behind the building and they think that’s the end of it… until a couple of hours later when an employee goes to clean the men’s bathroom.)

Employee: “Um… there’s a guy passed out in the bathroom… in his own puke. We should probably call an ambulance.”

(My friend’s work ended up calling the paramedics. The intoxicated man was taken out on a stretcher with, you guessed it, alcohol poisoning.)