The Allergic Dead

(I’m a bit of an oddball and have some unusual allergies as well. I and a coworker are on break talking about allergies. I had just gotten done explaining that while I’m not allergic to gluten & can eat white flour fine, I am allergic to whole wheat.)

Me: “I’m also allergic to pork.” *I pause for a moment because normally people try to tell me such an allergy is impossible, he says nothing, after the pause* “You know, since they call humans ‘long pork,’ I wonder if that means I could never be a cannibal.”

(I have no idea why I even said anything that weird.)

Coworker: “The fact you have to ask that worries me.”

Me: “I’d be the weirdest zombie in the zombie apocalypse!”