The Age Of Petulance

Customer: “Hi, my son needs a book called Ethan for his summer reading.”

Me: “Sure! Do you mean Ethan Frome?”

Customer: “No, it’s just Ethan.”

Me: “Is it by Edith Wharton?”

Customer: *looks at a piece of paper* “Um… yeah, it is, but my son just wrote down Ethan.”

Me: “Okay. Well, he probably just didn’t write down the full title, so let’s go grab Ethan Frome.”

Customer: “No! You aren’t listening to me! It’s not Ethan Frome, it’s just Ethan!”

Me: “It’s really not a big deal. We’ll—”

Customer: “It IS a big deal! You’re calling my son a liar!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to—”

Customer: “My son is a very good student. Maybe you should have paid more attention when you were in school, or you’d know that Edith Whoever wrote a book called Ethan!”

Me: “My apologies. Let me grab that book for you.”

(I go grab a copy of “Ethan Frome” and hand it to the customer.)

Customer: “No! What are you, an idiot? You’re trying to trick me by giving me Ethan Frome when I just need Ethan!”

Me: “Ma’am, Edith Wharton never wrote a book called Ethan. She did write a book called Ethan Frome.”

Customer: “MY SON IS NOT A LIAR!”

(I spend the next five minutes showing the customer all of the books Edith Wharton wrote in her lifetime on the computer. “Ethan Frome” appears on every list, but there is no reference to a book called just “Ethan”.)

Customer: “My son said it’s called Ethan, and that’s what I need! Obviously, you people just haven’t heard of it and you’re trying to make me look like an idiot. I’ll show you! I’ll call the school and get them to read me the summer reading list!”

(She calls the school on her cell phone. The school receptionist informs her that the title in question is, in fact, “Ethan Frome.” The customer turns bright red, and eventually hangs up on the poor receptionist.)

Customer: “None of you know what you’re talking about!” *snatches up a copy of “Ethan Frome” stalks off*

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Manager: “You need to take a ten minute break?”

Me: “You have no idea.”