The A(dobo) Team

(I’m a chef at a Filipino restaurant. My boyfriend, his friend, and my sister, are also on duty with me. A customer in his late 20s comes in.)

Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today?”

Customer: “Hey, babe. Are you free tonight?”

Me: “Do you have something you want to order?”

(The customer gets angry.)

Customer: “Look, I just asked you if you had any plans tonight! Yes or no?!”

Me:“Sir, I have a boyfriend. If you don’t want to order anything, please leave.”

Man: “Ha! What are you gonna do? Huh! Your little boyfriend ain’t gonna do anything to me!”

Me: “Hannibal! B.A.! Face!”

(My boyfriend, his friend, and my sister start walking towards the man.)

Boyfriend: “B.A.? Will you please escort this man out of the premises?”

(My friend walks towards the customer, cracking his knuckles. The customer runs out of the restaurant.)

Boyfriend: “I love it when a plan comes together!”

Sister: “Shut up…”