The 8 types of people you meet at Comicon

1. The Jocks:

Some of you might be surprised to see this on the list. This is Comicon, right? Why are there Jocks here? Well, Comicon has been branching out a bit lately, incorporating new realms of entertainment where the typical jock has taken notice. These are guys who work out, saw Thor once, read the Chris Hemsworth workout guide, and then decided it might be fun to cosplay as the aforementioned Norse God of Thunder. You can spot these types easily as they always choose a cosplay to show off their perfect torso and abs, don’t know much about geek culture outside of the one muscle-bound characture they are cosplaying (and even then, will only know from the movie), and will use Comicon as an excuse to party and essentially get their costume in one more time outside of the Halloween season.

2. The Not-Jocks:

Rocking the same muscle-bound cosplay as the Jocks, but obviously didn’t work out for the role. Sadly no one told them of this, which will occasionally result in awkward group cosplay photos where all the male Avengers have bigger boobs than Black Widow.

3. The Super Cosplayers:

These ambitious people are chameleons. Most Comicon attendees cosplay. These people are the Daniel Day-Lewis’s of cosplayers, totally disappearing into their characters and inhabiting their mind-space. Expect them to remain in character… all…day. Expect scenes such as: “I, Loki, the Trickster God demand an entire foot-long meatball marinara, with a tyrannical amount of Sprite, and a devilishly devious double-chocolate cookie.” Their costumes are elaborate enough to be professional, they engage in competitions with their fellow cosplayers, and their Facebook profiles contain zero pics of them as regular humans. Absolutely zero.

4. The Super Socially Awkward:

“But isn’t that MOST of Comicon attendees?” the less imaginative of you might ask. And yes, we know there is that social stigma that all comicon attendees are super nerds who live in their mother’s basements. But the opposite is actually true, most attendees are fully functional members of society, with friends, cars, mortgages, and the ability to socially interact with other human beings with minimal discomfort. No, we are talking about the truly social misfits. The ones who never usually converse outside of their favourite Reddir forum, who snobbishly mock anyone else who shares a different opinion of geekdom to them, and for a few extreme cases, are the cause why Magic: The Gathering… uh… gathering rooms require those signs at the entrance stating that they expect attendees to regularly bathe.

5. The Steampunkers:

Their mission is clear. Take something that isn’t steampunk, add some cogs, a victorian hat, aviator goggles and a fifties-sci-fi ray-gun, and then revel in how imaginative you are, along with a thousand others who have done the exact same thing. By the second day you will have realized the world does not need another Steampunk Pikachu.

6. The Crossplayers:

Take a gender-specific cosplay, and switch it around. This is how you end up with thirty sexy female Doctor Who’s that seem wrong on many levels, and thirty male slave-Princess-Leia’s, that’s wrong on every level.

7. The First-Timers:

The convention virgins whose eyes are either wide with wonder and awe at all the magical sights in one place, or because they’ve just seen the food and merchandise prices.

8. The Niche Sub-Groups.

The bronies, the furries, the cosplayers of that extremely-specific anime that hasn’t even been translated from Japanese yet, and so on. These are the hipsters of Comicon. As soon as their favorite geek outlet becomes mainstream, it’s time to move on to something else.

But at the end of the day…

Everyone is there to have fun, fight evil, enjoy the shared fanboy-ism on display. Where else can you grab a drink with a Space Shepherd, a Pokemon, a Final Fantasy Demon and Harry Potter all in the same bar?