The 40-Year-Old Virgin-No-More

(At the store where I work, I notice a 40 year old man is squealing and jumping up and down.)

Me: “Sir, would you please stop that?”

Man: “I can’t! I’m so happy!”

Me: “I’m happy for you too, but your behavior is disturbing everyone.”

Man: “I can’t! I’m 40 years old and I finally got a girl to go out with me! I can’t believe it! My first date!”