The 11 Annoying Types Of Roommates

Friendly | April 7, 2016
#1. The Neat Freak:

If you’re a germophobe, organized person that has a place for everything, then you’ll get along fine. If you’re not, then expect a line to be drawn (literally) down the middle of the room, between their half and yours. Leave one of their pictures slightly off-center every day to slowly drive them crazy.

#2. The shareoholic:

This roommate thinks everything is for sharing: gossip, soap, snacks, clothes bed-space… These poor souls have never had to deal with boundaries until now, so it’s up to you to lay down the law… and tie down all your valuables.


#3. The Fit-Freak:

These athletic types probably chose this college because it has a good sports team, or they just happen to be totally into sports. Prepare for an onslaught of body-guilt when their alarms go off at 6 am for that morning run, or they start to balance a precarious amount of sports equipment over their beds as they join yet another team. Staying in watching YouTube and eating pizza has never made you feel so self-conscious.  Don’t be surprised if you come back to the room one day and they’re doing this:


#4. The Slob:

The opposite of the Neat-Freak and pretty far from the spectrum of the Fit-Freak too. These lazy layabouts likely come from a home where they were coddled and looked after by mommy for every little thing, and now they’re in the real world they have no concept of keeping their surroundings, or even themselves clean. A rising tower of sticky cereal bowls have its pungence increase along with its height, their bed will gradually dissapear under a pile of worn clothes and school supplies that slowly takes over their side of the room like mold – which is what it will soon literally become until you put your foot down and tell them to tidy up and have a shower!


#5. The Sock-On-The-Door Roommate:

The randy roommate who likes to enjoy the ‘full college sexperience’ (sorry), but knows the universal warning of having the sock on the door to ensure they aren’t rudely interrupted. If this is your roommate, you might want to start designing a schedule, so you know when to be out of each other’s hair. But still… it could be worse…


#6. The Who-Needs-A-Sock-On-The-Door Roommate.

What’s worse than a roommate that has sex in your room? One that has sex while you’re still in it. They argue that it is modern times, and you should all be free to express your sexuality. Your only attack on this is when they start to ‘get it on’, start hovering over the bed menacingly, with a cold blackness in your eyes, mumbling in a deep satanic chant “yes… spread my seed into the wombs of the innocent… yes…”


#7. The Clothing Optional Roommate.

We’ve all done gym at school, we’ve all been in showers, we all know what’s down there. This roommate takes that debatably healthy mentality and extends it to your room, where they feel free to… well… feel free. If you’re both of this mentality, or you genuinely don’t mind, then good for you! For the rest of us however, Adam and Eve covered themselves up for a reason, and it’s about time they did the same.


#8. The Party Animal.

Whether it be fancy soirees with elegant dress and canapes, or the loud frat-parties with kegs and beer-pong, no one knows how to party it up like this roommate. On the plus side, you’ll know about, and be invited to every happening… uh… happening on campus. On the down side, you’ll be dragged along to every happening happening on campus. Say goodbye to a healthy amount of sleep… or a healthy liver.


#9. The Roommate ‘Trying To Find Themselves.’

These pretentious hipster folk will listen to experimental music, read monolithic tomes (because calling them books is sooo mainstream) and sigh melodramatically at every moment they know they will be heard in the hopes that someone enquires about their latest ‘profound revelation.’ You have to applaud eperimentation in college, after all it’s a big part of what it is for, but experimentation for the sake of it can come accross as obnoxious. They have been known to say eye-rollingly useless statements such as “some people take the road less travelled, I say be the road.” or “I refuse to talk to you right now as my soul just can’t handle your negative energy.”


#10. The Passive-Aggressive Roommate:

Nothing you seem to do sits right with this person, but they hover juuuuuust below the line of outright aggression that might warrant a conversation with the dorm staff. Expect notes left around the room that might or might not be sarcastic, comments about your clothes that might or might not be genuine, and loud sighs and tuts of annoyance that they will never confirm if it’s directed at you or not. But of course it is directed at you, all of it.


#11. The weirdos.

Just… weird.

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