That’s Your Parking Lot In Life

(We have two towers in our hotel, with two separate sets of elevators. There are two parking garage levels on the far side of the hotel, in the west tower; the front desk is in the east tower.)

Lady: *rushing up, dragging her suitcase, breathless* “I’m really frustrated I can’t find your parking garage!”

Me: “Okay. When you parked, did you go UP a ramp or DOWN a ramp?”

Lady: “Neither. I went out the car wash exit and around the back.”

Me: “Okay, that’s our employee lot. Go back to that green sign behind you, take a left, go ALLLLL the way down that hallway, and there’s a door that says ‘Watch Your Step.’ Go through that door and you’ll be in the correct garage.”

Lady: “So I go to the end of the hallway, turn left and it’s there?”

Me: “No. Go to the green sign that says West Tower, has an arrow on it. Turn left. Follow that hallway all the way down — it kind of jags back there — and at the end, where the elevators are, is the door you need. Don’t go up the elevators; go through the door next to them.”

Lady: *stares at me for a second, confused* “Oh, okay.”

(She turns around and starts walking. She passes the green sign.)

Me: “Ma’am? Ma’am! Left! TURN LEFT!”

(She reaches the end of the lobby and turns down the wrong hallway. A few moments later I see a coworker escorting her back through the lobby while she is berating him. Later…)

Coworker: “That lady was so rude.”

Me: “Yeah, she didn’t really follow directions too well.”

Coworker: *nonplussed* “She told me I should build easier parking lots.”

Me: “Because you’re clearly the person responsible for how our parking lot is configured.”

(My coworker is 17, and looks it.)