That’s What You Call A Coke Addict

(I am volunteering at an annual festival we have at my church. It’s my first time. I’m serving soft drinks. I am 13 and a middle-aged lady orders.)

Customer: “Can I get a Diet Coke?”

Me: “All we have is Pepsi. Will that be okay?”

Customer: “What? All you have is Pepsi? How much does it cost?”

Me: “One dollar, ma’am.”

Customer: “That won’t do. Where can I get a Coke?”

Me: “You won’t find any Coca-Cola products here, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You wouldn’t know quality beverages if it hit you in the face. I demand you tell me where I can get my d*** Diet Coke!”

Me: “Well, if you must there’s a Publix right down the—”

Customer: “Go to h***!”

(One of the nuns overhears this and pulls the lady aside. The lady begins to turn pale as the nun speaks to her. After about five minutes of speaking with the nun the lady leaves. The nun comes over to where I am.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. What did you say to her?”

Nun: “Doesn’t matter. All we need is Jesus.”