That’s Some Long-Lasting Eggnog

, , , | Right | December 31, 2018

(This happens just a few days after Christmas. The phone rings and I give my usual greeting.)

Caller: *in a very loud and drawn-out voice* “Hello. My wife…”

(There is a moment of silence.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “My wife. She opened up the back. She opened the door and threw the Christmas outside the back.”

(He starts to laugh like he is drunk.)

Me: “Is there anything you needed from the store, sir?”

Caller: “A CHRISTMAS TREE!”

Me: “We don’t have trees here, but you can try Home Depot nearby. Have a good night.”

Caller: “Oh, okay, thank you.”

(The next day I’m next to a manager when they answer the phone and I hear this:)

Manager: “You do know you’ve called a grocery store, right? That’s not our problem. Good day.”

(He hangs up. It was the same guy. Then, on New Year’s Eve, I’m near a new manager when they answer the phone:)

Manager: “Okay, thanks for telling us. Goodbye.”

(Turns out this guy had been calling once a day to make the same call. Whether he was under the influence or pranking us, I’ll never know.)

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