That’s Probably What The Salesman Told Her

(My family is at my grandmother’s house for Thanksgiving. My uncle opens the freezer to get something, and finds a hot pad underneath a container of ice cream.)

Uncle: “What’s this?”

Grandmother: “It’s a hot pad.”

Uncle: “What’s it doing in the freezer?”

Grandmother: “Since it keeps the table from getting burned when you put hot things down on it, I keep it in the freezer so the ice cream won’t get freezer-burned.”

(My mother looked at my uncle and me with a death glare, and under her breath said, “Don’t you dare say a word”.)